There is no can’t.

I have a dear friend named Dan.
He is a very successful businessman, who has lived a life full of adventure, fulfillment, and achievement.
He’s the kind of guy who gets things done. Even is walk is full of purpose. He’s a tall guy, about 6 foot 3, and he makes a real impression when he walks into a room.
It’s more than just his size, it’s the attitude he projects.
He’s kind and friendly but he gets right to the point.
He’s interested in others, but he’s not afraid to point out problems.
Dan has a beautiful family, and he comes from a close family. His siblings are as successful as he is.
I’ve always admired Dan, and I’ll probably tell many more stories about him in the future here on this blog.
A few years ago, Dan invited me to attend a camping trip at the Grand Canyon with his family. He had always wanted me to meet his father. Dan’s father was seriously ill with cancer.
It was quite a trip.
One night we were settling done for the night around the campfire, and I started to ask Dan about his father.
“Your dad must have had a very successful career. He’s apparently been a great example to you.”
Dan thought for a moment.
“No, that’s not it. My father struggled at times in his career, made a few poor job choices, and didn’t really have a good education.”
I was surprised.
“But Dan, I can see that he’s had a huge impact on your life. What is it about him that has shaped your life and helped you become the success you are today.”
Dan stared at the stars for a long time.
“You’re right. My father has been the real shaping influence on my life. And I can tell you what it has been.”
“My father hates the word ‘can’t’. He’s tried so hard to raise a good family and lead a good life, that he’s just become adverse to the word.”
“He never let us use that word growing up. It actually made him angry.
We couldn’t say:
The gym teacher asked me to join the cheerleading squad, but I told him I can’t.
Or,
I’m struggling in my math class, I just can’t do it.
Or,
I was invited to a party, but I told them I can’t come.
Or ANY use of the word can’t.
He would say:
There is no can’t. There might be ‘I don’t want to’, but admit to it. The problem is ‘I don’t want to’, and not ‘I can’t’.”
There is no can’t.
I’ve thought a lot about that since that camping trip.
I’ve noticed now how often people use the word ‘can’t’ in their conversations and excuses.
Excuses? Yes. Excuses for not trying, for not accepting, for failing, for not understanding, and for not caring.
What do you think about it?